Show and Tell

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yGI-b60BWN4

This video is called "Rape. Sexual Assault. Let's STOP blaming the victim" It has two characters in it, one of which is the victim (the girl), and the assaulter (the guy). The situation described in the video is one that I believe is common in rape/assault scenarios. The guy believed the girl was leading him on, and the girl believed she was having innocent fun. I believe both could have 100% improved their decision making to help prevent the end result; in saying this I am not suggesting in any way that it is the girl's fault that she was raped. Let me explain.

Let's begin with the guy. Just because a girl is wearing a cute dress, taking shots with you, and maybe even flirting with you does not in anyway mean she wants to have sex with you. Sometimes it may, but you're better off and would be smarter to always assume it doesn't. Regardless of a girls actions, especially if she is drunk, it is not intelligent to assume you're going to have sex with her unless she flat out comes out and says "We're having sex."; and even with that being said you still have to use your better judgement. If a girl is beyond wasted and says she wants to have sex with you it doesn't necessarily mean you should do it; especially if it's a girl you don't know and haven't had sex with before. First and foremost, you'd be taking advantage of a situation that you know probably wouldn't be available if she were sober, and you risk getting yourself in legal trouble if the girl wakes up and decides that she was raped for any number of reasons. Rape claims aren't always blunt and to the point. A girl doesn't always say no, and in a drunken state just because she doesn't doesn't at all mean she won't reconsider after the fact when she sobers up. This really just has to do with self control. Know the boundary lines and don't cross them. This is only going to benefit you in the long run. And if indeed she really does want to have sex with you I'm sure she'll find a way to make it happen. (This oviously stands for girls or guys, but I'm speaking on behalf of the video)

Now for the girl. First of all, what were you even thinking taking a stranger from the bar back to your house???? Hello, that's like in the top 5 things girls are taught from birth to not do. I'm not in any way saying the girl deserved what she got, because under no circumstance should anything like that ever happen, but as a female you definitely have to be smart to make sure it doesn't. Taking shots and dancing with a random is one thing, but taking him to your house, alone at that, is definitely a never in your life thing to do. That's basically equivilent to walking in a dark alley in queens at 2 AM. As women we have to be so very careful, generally even more so than men when it comes to putting trust in people. Now, this is not to say these things don't happen to men, because they do, but women are generally targeted more often.

Things like this happen all the time and it is so important to educate yourself in how to prevent this from happening to you and also what to do in these types of situations. This guy wasn't random at all to the girl, and she even liked him, but that doesn't change the fact that she didn't know him and he came to all the wrong conclusions about her actions. In the end, could she have made better decisions to prevent this from happening? Yes. Was it her fault? No. All she did was put her faith in the wrong person. Seeing the best in people is a great and terrible thing all at the same time. It's important to know that there are people out there that think exactly like that guy. When it comes to your life it is always better to be safe than sorry.